Now that you’ve gained an understanding of what has made you unhappy in this job and what you’ve contributed to that, how can you survive without punching someone?
One key step you can take is to find allies in your current job. These may even be folks in an entirely different department, so if you once had a really nice talk with Joan from Payroll, give her a call and ask her to coffee. Don’t unload on her all at once, of course, but let her know you’re not feeling entirely fulfilled in your role, and see if she seems receptive. If she does, you now have work friend to help you through. If the people in your office are truly toxic, this can be a real gift. I had a friend like this in the job I had grown to hate, and it was so important to have her feedback that what I was going through was absolutely not normal. These work friends can also help you understand how you’re contributing to the problem, since we all become less fabulous versions of ourselves when we’re under constant stress. These friends can also provide you a little lift and something to look forward to every day. If you’re especially lucky, you’ll find people to have coffee with several mornings a week!
Next, look at some of the tasks you dislike the most and see if there’s a way to distribute them differently. Can an intern do some of it? Is the new guy looking for a task? It isn’t always possible to offload these tasks, of course, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to try.
Then, identify your timeline. It’s a lot more bearable to work under someone you don’t like or trust when you know the end is in sight. You’ve already decided what some tide-you-over jobs might be, so start applying and choose your plan for the worst-case scenario. Once you know that you’re gone in a month or two, you can cultivate a healthy survival attitude that a friend of mine calls, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
Finally, to get through things that feel like crises, think about developing a very simple mindfulness practice. No, deep breathing won’t get you through the creepy guy who stands too close and brings up his sex life at every turn, but it may keep you from throat-punching him, which I call a win.