The holidays can be fraught. Well-meaning (one hopes) family members may very well ask you all sorts of invasive questions, including about your luck on the job market. This can be incredibly frustrating, and it can feel very judgmental. Heck, maybe it is judgmental—you know your family better than outsiders do.
Here’s how to handle those situations as gracefully as possible.
Let’s start by assuming good intentions on the part of the asker. Since we can’s actually know someone else’s motivations, we can choose to put even the most invasive questions in the category of intended kindness. Regardless of whether this is true or not, you’ll feel a bit better about the interaction.
Then, have some good answers to fall back on. For instance, even though there are reports floating around about low unemployment rates, those only measure the number of people in the workforce actually seeking jobs. In other words, those numbers don’t account for underemployment, part-time employment, or those folks who have given up on the search entirely. The part-time Uber driver, for example, hustling just to get enough to pay this month’s rent, is counted as employed.
Furthermore, while there’s some job growth happening now, those jobs are in very specific industries like mining and nursing. Hiring is not happening across all sectors, so if you work in something like professional business services, the numbers tell a different story.
Finally, because of worldwide economic and political uncertainty, the average job search is taking an unconscionably long time. A couple of years ago, the average was around 3 months, but by most estimates now, it’s over 6 months, and that’s for people who already know what they want to do.
Make some notes for yourself about how you want to bring any of these up if you get asked. I can’t help you answer why you’re not married yet, though, so I’m afraid you’re on your own for that one.
