Now that we’ve covered why it’s important to network, let’s dig in on how to do it.
The most obvious starting point is networking events. These can be good if you enjoy socializing, but they can also be daunting. If you choose to do some of this sort of networking, prepare for the events by creating a list of conversation-starters. These can be about the event itself (“What brings you to this event tonight? or, “What did you think of the speaker?”), about the location and incidentals (“These appetizers are really tasty!” or “I’ve never been in this space before. Have you?”), or focused on the individual (“Those earrings are fabulous!” or “What do you do when you’re not attending networking events?”). Having a few of these ready to go will save you from those awkward silences, and others will be grateful for your ability to get things started. Have some goals in mind for the event so you come away with more of what you’re looking for—new connections in a particular field, information about a topic, renewed conversations with people you’ve met before. That way, when you get home and look over any business cards you’ve collected, it will be easier to follow up with the people you talked with, and you can remind them of anything specific you discussed and build the relationship from there.
But events aren’t the only way to network. Small, targeted relationship-building is important, too. This can be a big relief to those who don’t enjoy big events, but it’s important even for the biggest social butterflies. If you’re looking to move into a particular field, find people doing what you want to do and ask for an informational interview. If you’re considering pursuing more education, find people who seem to have the degree or certificate you’re thinking of and ask them about it. Find people who graduated from your university and are in roles that sound appealing. Reach out to people who follow groups you like or volunteer with charities you support. Focus on the relationships you really want to build so that the task is less daunting and unpleasant.
And don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. You don’t need to be connecting with hundreds of new people. You can make lots of progress by finding one new connection and checking in with one older one. Make a plan that works for you, and be flexible and realistic about your goals. I tend to start with the harder tasks so I know they’re out of the way—reaching out to someone who seems a little intimidating or super-fancy, for instance. Then I sort of reward myself with the easier tasks like reconnecting with someone I’ve really enjoyed talking to in the past. But you may find it easier to start with the low-hanging fruit and then work your way up from there. The point is that it needs to work for you, and to be something you can sustain.
And remember, this isn’t self-centered or mercenary. We build relationships with others that are likely to be mutually beneficial. You may need support from folks if you get laid off, and then a year later, you might be giving support to someone who helped you find your new role.
