Trying to be perfect is a trap a lot of us fall into, but it’s definitely not healthy.
Trying to be perfect is a trap a lot of us fall into, but it’s definitely not healthy.
Of course you want your application materials to be free of typos and errors, and naturally you want to look good in your interview outfit. But when we decide that perfection is the only acceptable option, we’re holding ourselves to a pretty tough standard, and that can get nasty for the ol’ self-esteem, and quickly. I see this most often when people are reviewing how they think they did in interviews.
Did you say something goofy? Call someone by the wrong name? Forget a word or phrase you really wanted to say? Space out a date? Don’t sweat it. Really. I worked at a university for 13 years and was on a lot of search committees, and I have seen it all. I have also forgotten most of it—that is to say, while I remember people mispronouncing names or answering something clumsily, I don’t remember who did what, and I don’t think that those people were fools. Even in the moment, what I worked on was always finding out how that candidate would be in the role, not whether the person remembered who asked the question or effortlessly recalled a date.
And I always appreciated it when candidates would take time to consider an answer carefully instead of bowing to the implied social pressure to answer quickly. In fact, a friend of mine always instructs her clients to take at least one deep, full breath before answering any interview question—3 or 4 for tricky questions. (If your interview is over the phone, be sure you make “hmmm” noises or something similar as you take the deep breaths so they don’t think the call has dropped.) If you don’t understand or didn’t fully hear the question, don’t be afraid to ask them to repeat or rephrase it, especially if you’re new to an industry. There’s likely to be some jargon you don’t know, but jargon is something you can learn so don’t feel threatened or inadequate. Chances are that they’ll appreciate your honesty, and if they don’t, you probably don’t want to work with ‘em anyway. (I know that might sound a little like sour grapes, but remember that you’re interviewing them as much as they’re interviewing you, so bear that in mind.)
In interviews, your objective is to show them who you are and that you can do the job. Don’t feel like it needs to be perfect. It needs to be you, and you’re enough as you are.
