Have you ever set a goal for yourself and fizzled out? A quick online check will tell you that, according to most measures, only about 10% of New Year’s resolutions actually happen, and I see much the same pattern in the rest of life.
Why do we fail to keep these promises to ourselves?
Step 1:
The first issue is that we are often not very specific: “I want to make more money,” or “I really need to lose weight” aren’t very actionable. You aren’t likely to be content if you find a quarter on the ground, for instance, even though that’s more money than you had before you found it. In general, I find it helpful to set specific and measurable goals: “I want to lose 15 lbs. by the end of August.” You can adjust your goals as you achieve them, too, of course, but in order to achieve them, you need to know how to measure them.
Step 2:
The other thing I see a lot is that the goals are too big. Chances are very high that you aren’t actually going to apply for 23 jobs this week. You might start off strong, but eventually you’ll lose motivation or get distracted. Then you’ll be mad at yourself for not doing what you set about to do. This, of course, further demotivates you, and before you know it, you’ve spent 90 minutes watching baby capybaras and you haven’t even thought about what kind of job you want. (Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely a place in life for videos of baby capybaras, but this should be a fun little treat, not a large chunk of the day you decided to spend doing something else.)
Step 3:
Finally, I see too many people focus only on the end of the process. If you’ve decided to learn Python, for instance, it’s important to know that it’s a big project and you’re not going to master everything right away. (You’ll see here how this harkens back to the other 2 items.) Set smaller goals for yourself along the way, and celebrate those as you achieve them.
And when you do nail that goal, be sure you reward yourself for your success. Plan your reward in advance so you’ll have it to look forward to. It’s a nice reminder that you are awesome!
