You’ve been through the finalist interview, you like the people and they seem to like you, you’re gearing up to negotiate your salary offer… and they tell you they’ve gone with another candidate. Argh!
What should you do now?
Obviously it’s okay to be disappointed—even angry, sad, fed up, frustrated, and so forth. It’s even okay if you need to have a little cry or a long, loud cussing session. Feel your feels! You worked hard to get this far, and now you have to start again. Anyone would be frustrated and disappointed.
But what else should you do?
Start with a gracious thank-you to the employer. If they’ve emailed you to let you down, simply respond to that. If they’ve called you, hopefully you’ve choked out a decent “thank you for letting me know” reply. Then go back through your communications with them and send that gracious email to the decision-maker or the whole search committee. Let them know that you appreciate their time, and if it’s appropriate, reiterate your interest in the employer in case there are other opportunities.
At this stage, you can also ask for feedback or advice for doing better next time, but be aware that it’s the rare employer who will respond, at least with anything useful. Still, rare occurrences do sometimes happen, so go ahead if it feels appropriate.
Then give yourself a little break. You might just take a minute or two for some deep breathing, or you might want to throw yourself into a task of some sort. Just let your brain reset a little so you’re ready to hop back into that metaphorical saddle.
When you’re ready for that, go through a mental checklist of what about the job you didn’t get was appealing to you. Hopefully it’s more than just the salary! If you were excited about the culture of the organization, you can ask the interwebs what companies in your area are similar. (You might need to refine this search a couple times.) If it’s the role itself, generate a list of what else it might be called and look around for those roles.
It might not seem like it right now, but it really is excellent news that you made it as far as you did with the job you didn’t get. Those employers were willing to spend a significant amount of time with you, which means they like you and they think you’re qualified for the job. That means that other employers are almost certain to feel the same way!
